The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
