Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
