He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
