he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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