Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
