out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
