I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
