i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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