So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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