But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize