I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
