There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Rumble strips road head = magical
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
