Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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