It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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