My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
