i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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