So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize