Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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