As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So vagazzling was a success
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
