Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
