carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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