i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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