I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
