You made me cry and you don't even care
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
