just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i've created a new STD.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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