I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
