Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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