No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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