i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
