the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
