i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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