I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
