O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
