Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
