Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
