i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
