his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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