hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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