you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
