When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
