Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize