I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
