It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
