As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Randomize
