are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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