I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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