They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
