i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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