It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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