But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
