if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can you bring me the toilet please
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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