it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you inspire me to be a worse person
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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