You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
