Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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