Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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