What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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