Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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