its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
