If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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