Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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