# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
sarcasm needs its own font
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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