So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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