I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize