I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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