therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
