Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize