its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
