Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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