Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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